The death of Elizabeth's husband on his way to the Crusade was a great grief for her. She had been prepared for his death in the war, and had even thought about what she would do afterwards. She had made a vow to remain continent should she survive her husband. Still, she experienced tremendous sorrow at his death and found herself undergoing enormous changes in her life, due both to circumstances, and also the choices she herself had to make.

In her grief, Elizabeth surrendered herself to God's will. She said: "I would not want to redeem his life, even if it cost but a single hair, if it were against your will. Now I recommend myself and him to your grace. May your will for us be done."

Among the things we experience when bereaved is great loneliness and lack of purpose in our lives. How did Elizabeth deal with loneliness? She turned to God in prayer for discernment, as Pope Gregory IX asked her to do. She found new purpose in her life: and went on to form her community of sisters and build a hospital.

Many of us will experience the loss of loved ones. Even when we are in some sense prepared for it, grief can overwhelm us. We can accept loneliness with God's help. We too need to engage in prayer and discernment to know God's will for our future.

Can I learn from Elizabeth to accept grief? Can I be thankful for the time of happiness with the beloved, and express even in grief thankfulness and joy for this love? Do I experience this time of being alone as challenge, that I am now entirely in God’s hands, and am I prepared, to reorganise my life and refocus it?

"He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying, "My Father, 25 if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will" (Matthew 26:39).

"United themselves to the redemptive obedience of Jesus, who placed his will into the Father's hands, let them faithfully fulfill the duties proper to their various circumstances of life" (Rule 10)